“Sometimes You Have To Let Go”
By Brittany Carrero
So I’ve been with this boy for two years. He and I have done everything together. I brought him into my family because he didn’t have one. I showed him the difference between something good and something bad.
When I first met him, I thought he was a little weirdo with all those tattoos and piercings he had, but little by little I started falling for him. He was so sweet and kind. I used to judge him on his looks regardless of how that saying goes, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.’’ That boy showed me the world, but me being who I am I never let my heart open up to him. He fell deeply in love with me and I was just there. I used to tell him I loved him all the time but was it true? No! I was thinking everything was a joke because he did his share of mistakes in the beginning of our relationship.
My family ended up liking the kid. The only thing that messed up everything was the fact that he didn’t have a job or go to school. It didn’t bother me as much until I started realizing I was paying and buying everything for him. That’s when the second year hit, and I started to think more and more about whether I was feeling the same way he was feeling towards me.
It took me forever to break up with him because of the simple fact that I didn’t want to break his heart because he was really in love. So, one day I had the heart to let him know how I was really feeling because of the simple fact that I don’t want to be in a relationship if I don’t feel anything between us. I thought it was something I was going through, but it wasn’t. At a point I didn’t know what I was feeling anymore. I was so confused, so I had to do what was right for me.
When everything was over and done with I found out how I was really feeling and I wasn’t feeling him. In life sometimes you have to let go of the one you love to find out if there is really something there.
Everyone Has a Story
I grew up in Edenwald Housing with my aunt and her husband, Vin, with my two sisters and bothers. My oldest sister, April, lived with my mother and my father. I have another sister who is deceased, but we really don’t talk about her that much.
As I grew up, my aunt always had rules. Everybody has rules, but her’s were different. Hers were too strict. One of her rules was that it’s her way or no way at all. Me and my aunt didn’t see eye to eye that much. Till this day, we still don’t get along.
I didn’t get along with with my father that well either while growing up. I wasn’t his favorite; my little sister was. I was always “Mom’s favorite. “ But when I hit my teenage years, my father and I started this patch. By the time I turned 15, I felt like my aunt hated my guts so bad, but I didn’t really care because little did she know I felt the same way about her. It’s like she wanted you to say something rude to her—to be disrespectful. She always had to do something just to nag you and get you mad. Every time, my aunt and I would get into it. All I could do was call the person I could depend on most--my father. It’s like when I talked to my father, he made everything better. He always gave me the best advice, always told me don’t let nobody make me or break me. Stand tall even when someone tries to knock you down. No matter how hard you try, there’s always going to be someone there, rooting for you and booing for you.
I took what he said into consideration. Ever since then every time my aunt and I would have it out, I would think about what my father would say. My aunt and my father didn’t get along so well. She always said she hated him. No one in my family understood why she had so much hate towards him. The only thing that bothered people about my father was that when he talked, he just couldn’t seem to stop. I was the only one who understood my father and where he was coming from. I guess it was because he had been through so much in his life that when he tried to help people or talk to people about their problems, it related to him so much, he had to just get everything out. But I didn’t mind him talking so much because everything he said made sense since I do the same thing when I have a lot of things on my mind. I’m the type to reason with people and a people person just like my father. If we didn’t like someone, it had to be a good reason.
My father was a nice, caring, and loving person. My father was my hero. I always looked for my father’s call morning and evening. There wasn’t a day that went by and I didn’t wait for his call. I never thought of the day I would lose my father--only when he mentioned to me that whenever he died he wanted me to sing a special song, “Dance with My Father Again” by Luther Vandross. But I didn’t expect it to be so soon.
On October 8, 2010, I called my father in the am because I forgot to return his call from the previous night. His fiancé picked up. (My mom and dad were In the middle of a divorce.) I asked if I could speak to my father, but she didn’t let me. She insisted on talking to my aunt so I gave her the phone.
Me being nosey, I tried to ease drop and heard that she took my father to the hospital. She said the doctor came in and said that my father didn’t make it.
At that moment I didn’t care about nothing anymore. I started to break down in tears. I couldn’t believe the man that I only could love forever--the one man I called my best friend--was gone.
I never lost nobody close to me. I didn’t know how it felt, but that day I knew how I felt. Nobody could feel what I was truly feeling. I’m pretty sure my siblings and mother and his fiancé were real hurt, but nobody knows how I really felt because they’re not who I am.
Days went on after my father’s death. I sobbed and wept until one day my aunt and I had this big argument and conflict about a situation. She called me names and pointed out certain things from the past. I got mad at first but then I remembered what my dad always would tell me, so I used his advice. Because of what my dad told me, I am the person who I am today.
I believe “Everyone is their own person with their own story to tell.” In the end you might see the same thing I see, hear the same thing I hear, experience the same thing I experience; but when it all comes down to it, there’s one thing that another person can’t do that you can do, and that is feel the same way you do.
The Perfect View
By Johanna Dominguez
Sean Carter (Jay-Z) once said in one of his songs: “Standing back from situations gives you the perfect view.” Too bad for me[T1] I didn’t hear this quote four or five months back. This quote has proven to be true multiple times in my life. That’s why ever since I’ve heard it, I’ve decided to live by it. I was in a two year relationship with a girl from my old school. Only problem with that was that everybody was always in our business, not to mention our friends didn’t really get along. The fact that she was “pulling me away from them” made my friends not like her.
One day someone thought it would be funny to come up with this story. Rumors started going around, rumors that made people begin to question her loyalty towards me. Once my friends started hearing these things, they brought it back to me. When it got to my ears, I was in disbelief.
In class that day, what I had heard kept playing in my head over and over. I began to feel like everyone was laughing at me. That afternoon I didn’t tell my lover what I’d been hearing. But I did start acting differently. The following week I had made a complete transformation and everyone was noticing, especially my girl. I had become an “asshole.” These were the effects of pain, pride, and the thoughts of those rumors being true. It fogged up my abilities to think straight. I would lash out at her over any little thing. We started having constant fights over the stupidest things; I made her cry multiple times. She didn’t understand what was happening--why after almost two years, I was acting so strange. I was no longer the girl she once fell in love with.
She decided to confront me about my behavior. I broke down and in rage I spoke to her in a way I never spoke to any girl before. In my voice you could tell I was furious and hurt. She let me speak by not saying one word. Just shaking her head, while the stories I’ve been hearing poured out my mouth. I came to a halt. An epiphany: “How could I have been so stupid?” I thought to myself. It took me saying the story out loud to realize it didn’t make any sense. She couldn’t have possibly had the time for all that because she was always with me.
I froze in complete shock. I couldn’t believe myself. How could I have not seen I had a keeper? A thousand sorries rushed through my mind, yet not one came out of my mouth. I didn’t know how to start apologizing. She looked up at the sky, holding back her tears. My silence wasn’t making things any better. She then looked me straight in the eyes, a look that killed me because I knew she was hurting. All she said was, “Wow, no puedo creer esto.” (I can’t believe this.) With those words, she walked out my room. Still stuck on stupid, I heard the squeak of my house door when it opened; but I didn’t hear her leave.
Perhaps she was waiting for me to go after her but not this time. I was too ashamed. I wanted to run to her, yet my legs didn’t move. It was as if shame had glued them to the ground. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that all this time I had my baby paying for something that was so obvious she didn’t do. I heard her take a deep breath as the door shut.
I don’t blame her for walking out on me. I probably would have done the same. Till this day, I haven’t been able to look at her in the face. I was so ashamed, I decided to switch schools. I can’t help but think if only I would have taken the time to analyze things before letting it all get to me, I could have avoided a lot of pain and the loss of someone special to me.
Friendship is more than a ten-letter word
By Elizabeth Cruz
My mother always taught me that I don’t have friends I have associates. Throughout the years of my life I have grown to realize she was right in some cases and wrong in others. I have called many people I believed to be close and cool with my “friends” when they actually were not. Many experiences have lead me to believe that with time wisdom comes and you began to see who is real and who is not.
A quote that will always stick in my head is “respond to the flip of your belly.” My aunt told this to my and me cousin once. What she meant was that if we get a bad feeling in our stomach about something, get out of that situation as quick as possible because most likely our stomach is right. Honestly, I can say she was pretty much right about what she said. I have become friends with many people and have gotten that bad gut feeling in my belly about them.
When I take on the responsibilities of being someone’s friend, I take it very seriously and treat them the way that I want to be treated. Just like I heard from someone before, “Friendship just isn’t what it used to be,” quoted from a classmate. She was in fact correct. Many people now a days just take friendship as a joke and don’t genuinely know what the word means.
To me a friend is someone you can have fun with, talk to, argue and make up, and make many wonderful memories with. I have been through things like this with one of my friends, who now I can call my brother. He is like family to me and I love him with all my heart. We have been friends for about three or so years now, and though it may not seem as long as some people, to us it had been the best three years we ever had. Throughout those three years we have done all the things I stated above: we laughed together, we argued and even stopped talking but eventually we talked again, because we knew life without each other just wouldn’t be the same. Though at times I felt he was replacing me with someone else, I know he felt the same about me. In reality we both know that we are irreplaceable and that our friendship is something we both treasure very much.
We are the true definition of a real friendship, and I am happy to be able to use this as an example. Because of him I believe that friendship is more than a ten-letter word.
Elizabeth Cruz is a senior at Crotona Academy.
I Believe In Mistakes But Not Bad Habits
I Believe In Mistakes But Not Bad Habits
By Tyesha Glover
I believe that in life we are expected to make mistakes, but we shouldn’t make these mistakes bad habits. I feel this way because I feel that I am only human and no person is perfect no matter how hard they strive. The way that you learn and better yourself is to make mistakes in life, learn from them, and move on.
When I was in my preteens, growing up seemed to suck. While all my friends were out partying and doing preteen things I was stuck in the house doing the family thing; and when my mom did let me hang out or go to parties, she would say, “Tyesha be in here at 9” or “ Be home before it gets dark.” I would suck my teeth and role my eyes angry because those were the hours that a party started and the time when the fun started. When I would come home, I would be so angry that all my friends were out having fun and I was stuck in the house bored out of my mind. I just couldn’t understand.
By the time I got into my freshmen year, she had loosened up a bit, but she still wouldn’t let me hang out the way my friends' parents let them, and still I didn’t understand. So instead of going to all my classes, I would skip a few to meet up with friends and return by the end of the day. I thought it was just a harmless act. My mom caught on to my little scheme and the trust she was beginning to gain for me had been lost. While I cried and cried, trying to tell her that it was a mistake and that I wasn’t using my head and I'd fix it, she just shook her head and said, “Time will tell."
In the tenth grade I was doing a little better, but I was still cutting classes every now and then to meet up with friends and return by the end of the day. Eventually I started to not even go to school. When parent-teacher conference came and my mom saw all the days I missed, the trust between us was lost all over again. And as for me, I would have to go to summer school to make up many failed classes.
Back then I was young and I didn’t see it coming. I made that mistake which I saw as harmless into a bad habit. The first time my mother gave me leeway because she expected mistakes. Now I look back and see how easy it is to mess up if you don’t listen. But in the end it only affected me. I missed out on class and in return had to go to summer school instead of vacation with my family, while all my friends passed their classes and enjoyed their summer. I know I have plenty more serious and expected mistakes to be made, but I am human and much older now. I know that mistakes are expected, but we shouldn’t let them take over us and become bad habits.
Crotona Academy senior Tyesha Glover loves dancing and writing.
